Toby Swordis

The Land of the Fee

2012-02-26T05:32:00.000-08:00

America is now the land of the fee. Not the free, I did not make a typing mistake, I mean fee. Have you not noticed how everything now has additional fees. The airline industry is the most notable - luggage fees, charging for meals, better seats, blankets, using toilets, pillows, and sometimes even for using credit cards to pay for your tickets. Other companies want to charge us for paying our bills online or using our debit cards. Fees to feed their ever growing coffers.

I prefer to be charged a specific price and know what I am getting. I do not want to bargain. I do not want added anxiety in my life because if I do not pay a fee I am going to to get lesser service or be treated more badly by the provider - or not know what I am getting. Why would I?

I learned long ago nothing is ever really free, and now it seems like everything can be better for an additional fee. Or simply paying more.

Everything costs more these days. (Bought gas lately?) Why is that? Are we all getting paid more money? I do not think so. I am thinking those who already have a lot of money are just transferring more among themselves. They skin us while skimming as much off the top as they can. The rich are getting richer and poor getting poorer, so it has to be something like that doesn't it?

I really would like someone to explain it all to me. I know I should have studied something practical in school - economics, law, or business. but I didn't. I chose and still do prefer art. I do not prefer being subjected into a forced poverty over increasing fees and prices when there is no value added service. In fact paying more for less. Soon I'll paying a lot for nothing - though sometimes I think that is the case already here in the land of the fee.

Living In the Past

2012-02-12T05:27:00.000-08:00

So did you watch the superbowl? Maybe just the ads huh? The whole superbowl spectacle is just a celebration of living in the past. A big money event groomed for the most wealthy and tailored to make the rest of us pine for Doritos. "Let them eat chips"!

Face up to it football should hardly be called a game. It is a concussion inducing bunch of widely scattered moments in between which nothing happens. The greatest thing in football is the no huddle offense. It will be stopped though because it reduces the amount of time for ads. I have a lot against ads, but have been known to be persuaded by clever ones. Hmmm, none of those this year. I mean the whole idea behind advertising is to make us spend money on things we do not need to keep our economy alive. Oh yes and to help the rich get richer as we go further in debt.

When the world feels they have deluged us with enough ads, they give us celebrity. Madonna! The sound was awful and the performance akin to a badly made spaghetti gladiator film. Madonna is over and living on her laurels. I also bet we could have probably fed a few million people a nice meal for what that show cost. Priorities should endure through time and we cannot let media corrupt them.

So am I a curmudgeon of the highest order? Perhaps. Stop wasting money, stop living in the past, and stop exploiting every last second of time in an effort to persuade me that I too am living the good life. I am not. Are you?

Okay I do live in the past a bit

Noise or Sound?

2012-01-31T05:27:00.000-08:00

I had a flashback to my more youthful thinking the other day when I read the commentary of an article about cricket. In it the author stated that the goal of modern popular culture is to remove boring from our lives. So true.

Popular culture also is carefully constructed to make us feel inferior unless we have large amounts of money to spend - it does so with noise and clutter. Media and all of culture with its upbeat sensationalism is actually designed to keep us down. How can we complain when so much wonderful is all around us and so much is going on around us and battering our brains (which they have easy access to through our ears)?

Popular culture also removes individuality creating an implied consent for all that goes on to keep us fat and happy with our beer and Doritos or whatever. If we were not fat, happy and excited about the trivial we might actually start thinking. In recent years the World Wide Web has also been doing this same sort of induction. This bastion of purported freedom is now just too much information that seems too important too ignore coming at you too fast. It is mostly all just noise.

Why so much effort to have us not think about more important things than consumerism? If we did think the whole house of cards (i.e. our capitalist society) might crumble before the one percent's and their gatekeeper eyes.

I do not think cricket is boring. I enjoy a moment and embrace the sound of silence and all it offers - particularly time to think. It is through periods silence we will gain voices, realize what is important, learn to communicate with each other in meaningful ways and create a better world.

Moral Compass

2012-01-15T05:21:00.000-08:00

I saw an ad for a moral compass the other day. I was saddened by the fact that they were only available in specialized versions and at a very high price. I comforted myself with the thought that those who really need them could afford them.

I did wonder though how sales were. I pondered that in this economy they might be quite brisk - in the same sort of way escapist entertainment product sales tend to increase when things are, well bad. My thinking is that the morally correct decisions one must make in these times are bit more challenging - so a compass which points you in the right direction might be just the ticket. Couple that with the fact that they do not require any technical skill to operate, and it should be a winning product. The shrewd Toby in me was ready to proclaim that were I savvy or rich I would buy stock in the company that sells them. This a tip I would pass on to all of you my readers.

I then thought a bit further and realized that actually there are few if any customers for such a product. The need is there. The features are there. The benefits are there. What is not there is the willingness of the people to actually use and heed them. In fact success in this world might be better predicated on having one, reading it, and then doing the opposite. Another great disappointment, but perhaps the reason I should have one.

By the way, this post was not inspired by the upcoming election in the US, any world events, or any personal interactions with other human beings.

Near Poor

2011-12-31T10:00:00.000-08:00

A new term in the lexicon, the "near poor". It is term that describes a lot of us out here (do you hear me Mr. President?) and seems to have evolved out of a new definition of what is poverty. It takes into account the impact taxes, medical care and the cost of living in your particular area and measures that against a new poverty threshold. The NY Times estimated that 34% of the elderly fall into this newly defined standard. A staggering number I think.

Some folks do not like the term. It is too emotionally charged with the images it conjures up. I am sure others want to quibble with what is defined as poverty as well. Remember the rich want to get richer and for that to happen the poor seemingly must get poorer. That old income gap appearing again. Perhaps we should heed the warning that so many Brits do everyday - "Mind the Gap".

My opinion, a label is a label. The point of labels is to try and pigeonhole all of us into something. I think the term near poor works pretty well to describe those of us who should we hit some unexpected expense will really suffer. We are nearly poor then aren't we?

Facts are facts. Just like a Barbie doll you can dress them up in any clothes you like, but clothes do not make the man or the woman. Reality handles that.

Happy Xmas, War Is Over

2011-12-17T16:00:00.000-08:00

As I write this the war in Iraq has officially ended. A flag ceremony there made it official. The flag is wrapped and encased as is the tradition. (How sad there is a tradition to end a war - must mean there have been too many of them).

Funny how wars end. Funnier more so how they start. These are topics though for greater mind than me to ponder and debate. The main thing for me is that it is over.

A war ending is perhaps one of the greatest and most meaningful events for me. Senseless killing, violence, greed and waste hopefully coming to end for a bit of time. According to some figures I read (but never checked out) the war in Iraq war has resulted in 4,500 American dead, 32,000 wounded and cost more than 800 billion dollars. To me those numbers are mind boggling - see why greater minds than me have to look at the deeper issues - I cannot even comprehend that we would send that many people to die, have their lives ruined and and spend that amount of money for whatever reasons. And I am not even taking into account the Iraqi dead, wounded and social costs there.

I never understood war. Never. Vowed at a very early age I would never allow myself to be forcibly sent to fight in one. I still believe that, only now with more conviction. I knew very young that it was wrong. January 27, 1973 forced conscription ended in the United States - a day and act I have always been grateful for. In March of that year the Vietnam war ended. Another great day. Do not remember any flag ceremony though.

This holiday pay tribute to those who have fought in the wars we have waged. They deserve our appreciation and support. The greedy bastards who start and fuels wars do not.

Merry Xmas, War is Over. (hopefully this link will remain active for you to hear John Lennon my favorite holiday song)

Happy Hiding During the Holidays

2011-12-05T07:47:00.001-08:00

I always think of going into hiding this time of year.

Even more so now that I have read that Black Friday sales were "better" than expected. (Wonder if that included pepper spray? Only kidding - but how sad is that? - Are we really losing our grip on reality so badly that we are willing to fight in the real world to be able to do so in the game world? I have now have yet another reason for going into hiding it seems.)

Why do I hide? Simple. The pressure to consume and buy without rational thought along with the incumbent guilt for not doing so. The forced pressure to give. I have read the surveys that say people will spend money on toys for their kids rather than for food - because it is vital to keep the kids happy. I tend to think that perpetuating fantasy in this way and not facing reality is problem adults face because they were not taught how to do so as kids. A perpetuating myth that everything is going to be all right continues to linger and endure. You already know how I feel about false optimism. (Yes I will be a member of the one percent someday.)

I am not bah humbug. I know I do not have anywhere near the money to give to everyone who seems to be asking. I am not even exchanging gifts this year. I'll be a pariah of the holidays, but I am facing my reality. Looking at what is happening in the world and understanding is a valuable gift too. That ability is a great gift - and one I will use many times over (as opposed to stuffing it in a drawer or re-gifting it). A song for the holidays.

Whose Turkey Now?

2011-11-21T09:19:00.001-08:00

It being Thanksgiving week in America, it is time for my annual turkey awards.

I am overwhelmed with nominees this year. In fact my mailbox looks a little like a Greek street during a government workers strike. Colorful trash bags lend an artistic feel, but basically it is just crap. Too many turkeys out there, and a whole lot of broth spoiled I suspect. Oops am I mixing metaphors? Maybe I am the turkey this year for allowing myself to be led on by the media and have my spirit carved and served with platitude dressing for the elite to enjoy and be entertained by. Although exploit sounds more accurate. To me then, Toby is turkey of the year, for allowing this to go on.

My tradition for many years. Thanks Arlo. Happy Turkey day and hoping you all get everything you want.

False Optimism

2011-11-07T04:09:00.000-08:00

Okay I am thinking I am crazy in that I am not one of these optimistic folks out there. I am probably more of a preoccupied one actually. Anyway more on that later.

Here is what I do not understand. There is this income gap. A lot of us - say ninety nine percent are sucking hind tit. Yet a huge number these hind tit suckers obviously think that they will soon or one day be among those in the elite group and not be sucking away. Well, folks, the gap is not a geometric asymptotic sort of thing where you keep getting closer but never get there. It is true you will never get there, but it is also true odds are you will asymptotically go the other direction and just keep getting further away. I conclude this because so many of you continue to support not taxing the rich - so you gotta be thinking that you are gonna be there themselves sometime soon. (I would love to be smoking or doing whatever it is you are who believe this by the way).

The gap is huge and getting bigger and I would love to be so optimistic about the gap narrowing. But I am willing to go on record right now and say though - it ain't gonna happen. I am a pessimist, yep. We'll all be singing Brother, can you spare a dime? or maybe more accurately can you spare a few trillion dimes. Or perhaps you prefer the analogy that the future ain't so bright so you won't need your cheap sunglasses.

Double Binds and Compliant Bondage

2011-10-24T06:01:00.000-07:00

My post is a little late this week. It is all your fault readers. I am holding you all accountable and will be levying seriously big fines on all of you unless you comment to this blog explaining why it was late. I'll give you a week. If you do not comment I will find you in noncompliance and write more nasty blogs to you - hopefully scary enough to cause you high levels of stress and cause you to break into a cold sweat at night instead of having those sweet dreams.

I bet you can tell that I just returned from customer service training workshop on how to intimidate your clients into submission using the insights and strategies proven over the last 100 years by the IRS. I am not going to give away all of the secrets and tips I learned, but will share a few with you.

1. Always provide your customers with a lot of information, but the information should be hard to find and if they do find it, impossible for them to understand. This will make you look smarter and establish you as an expert in the field (expertise is something everyone looks for in an organization). This has the added benefit that you can then bully your customers by making them feel ignorant and incompetent. They will then need you for that expertise you have.

2. Be arbitrary and capricious. Try not to provide any definite guidelines. Keep everything fluid so you can use intimidation tactics to make sure your customers conform on an individual basis.

3. Always include a veiled threat like "if you do not respond in thirty days, X will happen to your loved ones." This helps get them into feeling a classic double bind situation hence increasing vulnerability and again helping you form compliance. (Thank you Gregory Bateson).

4. Charge large fines. People apparently liked to be scared. This has the added benefit of further stressing them out so that they are weakened into a more submissive state. (One drawback pointed out was that the added induced stress levels could diminish the chance of extracting fines and revenue as that money may be spent on health expenses before the fine can be collected. This was discussed at length by participants with no conclusions as to whether this would be affected by the pending healthcare legislation. Unfortunately I fell asleep during Representative John Boehner's Skype presentation on the subject.)

Cinderblock Fella

2011-10-10T06:30:00.000-07:00

I have been moving rocks and cinder blocks around in the garden. We just cannot decide where they should go. I have moved them all a couple of times. Once or twice because they were in the way of another project we had going out there. The task gave me great satisfaction each time I completed a move - some of the moves took a couple days - we have a lot of rocks and cinder blocks. I felt stronger for all the lifting. I now may even have a small muscle to flex. I even used a sledge hammer to smash some of the cinderblocks to create rubble we did not need. But it did give us the appearance of more space. I sit here now quite satisfied. I also now better understand how our government works - doing lots of unnecessary tasks, breaking things apart and feeling stronger and more powerful by doing it all as you indeed accomplish nothing. Perhaps we both should get to try on the fancy little slipper and go to a ball with our Prince Charming. On second thought (actually it was my first) perhaps none of the politicians around these days should be reelected nor allowed to go to a ball. Maybe they should take the one we are all continuing to roll uphill.

To A Pointillist Revival

2011-09-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

A friend recently wrote about people who continually miss the real the point.

Finding real points is like searching needles in a haystack. Could Congress find the real point when trying to deal with the debt ceiling? As my father used to say they could not find their arse with both hands tied behind their back. Actually my father used a bit stronger language than that. but you probably get the point.

How could these political "visionaries" see a point even if it poked them in the eye. I have this image of it occurring though when a conehead bows to their leader - who for the moment is also our leader. I am sure however though at this point the coneheads will have taken over the planet because our glorious leaders will be asking for more satin ribbons to tie their hands closer together behind their back.

What we do get is lots of talking points. These are exactly the points we do not need but our politicians seem to. I have had enough talking points, I do not want any more. How about an enforced cone of silence? Yes you can have and sip your tea in it. Tea has a calming effect. It is all that damn sugar that must be amping up those party goers - while at the same time killing their brain cells.

Who does seem to get the point? Pointillists do, or rather did. They are/were able to use lots of points to make an often brilliant and very clear picture. I propose we kick out all of the politicians and business leaders and let artists take over the running of this country. At least it will be a prettier and probably even saner place to live, and easier for us to all assimilate with the coneheads.

An Obamacare End Run

2011-09-19T06:44:00.001-07:00

Okay, it is all coming together. The economy is tanking. Savings lost. Houses underwater. The younger folks want to end the older folks entitlement programs (just a note to you kids and republicans - one day you will be old too). Medicare is teetering. What better circumstances to drive a spike in white hair crime. Until you get caught you can live off of the fat of what you acquire in your nefarious activities. Once caught you get a home (albeit a small one - just think of it as the ultimate in downsizing); three free meals a day; and free medical care (well it will all be paid for by those folks who drove you there in the first place actually). In fact, Seniors are out there already committing petty crimes and pleading guilty in order to obtain free medical care through the justice system. It is kind of an end run to get a little Obamacare without having to run through the right side of the line. Getting old sucks really - and no we cannot run that fast anymore so we may have to work on our juke moves. Disco finally pays off! A suggested reader update: Or maybe this fine Firesign Theatre bit presents it all a bit more clearly, come on everyone lets Beat the Reaper.