We can now bring pocket knives on planes. That is progress in the right direction don’t you think? Whomever made this decision must work for Swiss Army. 

Now that we can though, I will need to know if I can bring on a fork so I can eat my airline meal in style. I cannot wait to stick one of those utensils into a chicken Kiev or similar meal and have it spray my seat mates with hot butter. I own a dry cleaner you see. America is just great.

Oh wait, airlines do not serve food anymore. Greatness again impeded.